the state of things

i am: in wellington, new zealand, having come across a 3 1/2 hour ferry trip from nelson yesterday on a not so  implusive decision. i fly to christchurch on tuesday.

my mother is: in indoneasia. she will join me on the 2nd of december, in new zealand.

my brother is: stranded in thailand till the 9th of december. he was supposed to have come with my mother, to be with me.

my father is: back from kl. currently holding the fort at home, the strings that tie each of us back to singapore. he is also my means of communicating with the rest of my family. we are unsure of what will happen in the remaining days.

you see how important it is now, to say “God willing”, do you not?

you see

i meant it when i said you were my best friend
when i laughed at your stories
when i shared my own

i meant all my boyfriend tips
all my care when That Thing happened to you
all my concern.

i meant the laughter
i meant the smiles
i meant the time spent
i meant the letters i wrote

please, however, note that this was written in the past (perfect or otherwise) tense.

one for the road :)

part one of roadtrip is over. we came back a few days earlier than expected, because of unforeseen circumstances befalling one of our mates. but it’s all good. because part two of roadtrip is now a week in nelson. awesome stuff.

today and tomorrow: self currently embarking on my artist attempts at cleaning paua shells. will be going to mark’s place later to stay the night.

wednesday and thursday: tramping through the abel-tasman national park! talk about fissions of excitement. and then taking the water taxi back. (:

friday: snorkling through one of nelson’s bays, followed by ice cream.

saturday: going through the saturday market, a nice lazy day generally.

sunday: leave for kaikoura, en route to christchurch to pick up my mom and brother. (roadtrip III!)

love love.

a copy and paste of an email for ag people

hey people!

you all got my anouncement about the video eh.

ANYWAY, we’ve been on the road for a few days now. we’re now at christchurch, staying the night at adam’s brother’s place. this will be the last time we get internet connection for another two weeks at least (read: tenting all the way from now on yeahhh).

to those of you who have been praying: THANK YOU. we’ve had a very exciting 3 days of it so far.

day 1: steam came out of the car’s engine TWICE. we were trying to hit the kaikoura coast (left nelson; go google earth it or smth), but by 6pm or so there was some flapping noise coming out from the engine and eventually, uh, let’s just say percy (the car’s name) broke down.
we landed at some deserted countryside with sheep and cows and etc, and sat by the roadside awhile. the radiator was boiling, and steam was coming out everywhere. so we opened the bonnet, raised it and kok soon and i started cooking dinner. adam had ran down the road to try and find some kind of petrol station. a nice car stopped by (they’re friendly in nz) and asked if we needed help. so we explained, they drove on to find adam and he got a lift to the petrol station.
after dinner (instand noodles + bread), we tried restarting the engine. it sounded really, really bad i tell you. on the third try, percy gave a screech, and a PIAK sound came out of her. we were like, that’s it, our roadtrip is over one the first day. spent the night in the car.

day2: woke in the morning, and and and guess what. PERCY LIVES!. HAHA she actually starts. not bad huh. we’ve since fingured that she doesn’t have a cooling system, which is why she heats up SO fast. we also found out that she’d heated up so bad, the petrol had kind of boiled, and the radiator was at like, no water.
we hit kaikoura, took a walk (where a baby seal came up to me and sniffed at my slipper!!!) and by evening time, found a nice spot to pitch the tent. and then guess what. adventure two: gas cooker broke down.
gas cooker break down = our only source of cooking food died.
SO. we started a fire by the beach. thank God for heaps and heaps of dry wood all around our pebbly shore, which meant that adam’s matches were put to good use. we built the fire up enough to cook our maggi mee X4 and crayfish which we got from a tearoom nearby earlier. it was really sweet, having dinner by a campfire by the beach in new zealand, and we played some guitar afterwards.

day3: we’re now at christchurch! every stop is a reason for thanksgiving, because percy is such a grand old dame (1980). thank God also for fine weather so far (: today’s highlight: playing catching with the police. HAHA. we’ve had quite a few encounters with the police already, today’s being #3. they usually make us pull over and tell us we’re going too slow. hehe. but today’s one. errrr. we were trying to find adam’s brother’s place, when this policecar started following us. HAHA. so we let it pass, and waited for awhile, but just as we were about to make an (illegal, admittedly) u-turn, it reappeared. so we quickly drove off into a small side land and did our u-turn there. as we were turning, the police drove into that little lane as well. then we drove out of that lane, and cracked up really hard when the police car drove out of it too. i think they were embarrassed, cz after that they went the opp direction.

aye, so 3 days so far. many more to come. please pray for safety, good weather and a good time? cheers loves. (:

love,
rach

this took so long to get right,

but here it is. two videos of me opening a box from singapore, when i was still in wellington, new zealand. i’m going to try embed it, but if it can’t i won’t worry too much about it. cheers.

Video 1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE8XSHvf0m0

Video 2:

saying goodbye is hard.

we left wellington yesterday for the south island, and are here at nelson now. it’s quite funny how all semester adam was bragging about nelson’s “hot and sunny weather”, but now that we are here it’s been cloudy and cold since last night. (it’s about 6pm now)

because adam and i ended our exams so late (7th and 8th nov respectively), and we were leaving on the 9th, juggling packing and studying became quite nonsensical. i spent saturday thus: examing in the morning, packing till 6 in the evening, dinner out with the guys and kris, and then sleeping early (the guys wanted to watch the all blacks against scotland at 650 in the morning), and i had to go for the early morning service.

on sunday: got back at about 1030ish to just, move out of helen lowry, and wait for the taxi which came slightly after 11. we needed to be at the ferry terminal before 12.

like i said, saying goodbye was hard. the twins and hung helped the three of us pack what we could into the taxi, but adam’s bicycle box wouldn’t fit in so he went to catch the bus, with jason helping him. i gave jason a long hug, and got teary.

i remember how the twins came into my room a couple of days ago, saturday i think, and they hung around while i packed. they tend to beat around the bush when saying something, so it usually ends up sounding really enigmatic, but eventually phil announced their intention, that “this is not goodbye, alright?”, because we would see each other again when they and adam come over to asia for exchange next year. it’s not often that the twins get as coherent as that, and i was touched.

so anyhow, jason and adam went off, and hung and phil got all our stuff in. phil hates touch, so i only had one briefly before he kind of tensed (haha), but because i was getting agitated i demanded another hug and he acquiesced. hung had no qualms about hugging, and gave me a nice bear hug. i started crying quite hard then, but it’s all such a scrumpled memory because we were getting into the taxi, doors slamming, and taxi driving off. my last memory of helen lowry hall will be phil looking into the taxi at me, with hung beside, and i am waving with red eyes.

kok soon gave me some time to calm down, and after awhile i asked him how much money he had. because i had none. so adventure 1: two of us announcing to the taxi driver that we were going into the ferry terminal with $25 max. haha.
but in the end it wasn’t too bad; the final fare was still under $30 and the driver was nice enough about it. kok soon went off to draw some money, and adam hadn’t arrived, so i waited with all the bags and boxes, and took pictures of wellington to while away time. somewhere in between, before kok soon left i think, i realised that a box had been left behind in helen: the box i had intended for our roadtrip. i.e, my packets of mee, and all my t-shirts and shorts. oh, and my togs (swim wear).

so adventure 2: rachel left behind her box in helen lowry = no t-shirts = only dresses for the roadtrip = all her yummy indomee and maggi mee packets intended for HER would have to be donated to the boys (argh).

i didn’t mind going on the roadtrip with dresses, only that i wasn’t sure if they weren’t too delicate and might not last the rough and tumble. i mourned for my bikini though, and eusoff singlets. i figured adam would bring my box along with him when he comes to nus in aug 09/10 for exchange, but i am very fond of my eusoff singlets. it was 11ish by then, so i figured it wasn’t worth the twins coming down to the ferry to send the box, because it would be too late anyway.

it wasn’t until 1200 that i found out that the ferry leaves at 1! the gate would close at 1245 so we had 45 minutes which was just enough. furious texting begin:

1159: adam to phil- rach left a b0x bhind, grab da b0x nd jump 0n da bus nd bring it 2 da bludbridge fery terminal, FAST.
1207: U 0n da bus yet? D0nt wory b0ut tapin it up
1212: 0n da t0p waldr0be the topmost box has rach.s name on it
1216: G0t b0x? 0n bus?
1224: Txt rachel wen ur on the bus

- there was only 20 minutes left, before we had to go on the ferry, and we had no word from the boys. i started praying-

1228: phil replies- We on now!!! What time are you’s exactly leaving??

- it was practically 1230! 15 mins more before we had to board the ship! -

1235: phil msgs- We pretty much still in karori. There’s so much people going on now,… it’s totally full.

- at that, we gave up. because karori is where helen lowry is. there was no way they would make it now. so adam sent a text to phil that we had to go, (the ship people were hurrying the 3 of us too), and asked if they could send it via post today (even though it was sunday and post offices are closed). i don’t really know what we were thinking by then. so we went up the ship, and stood looking at wellington. just looking, and suddenly i thought to check my phone again. and there was a text from phil, and it was like,

phil: No way we wasted a group day tripper for nothing. We’re almost there kinda… can’t you wait a little longer???

it was sent at 1240, but when we saw the text it was 1246.

and at that it was like, ahhh they’re almost here but we’re already up on the ship they’re not going to let us get down again to get the box-and then suddenly adam pointed and shouted and-

we saw the three of them at the traffic lights across the terminal!!!

talk about adrenaline. adam started texting furiously, i was running around yelping that we had to find a staff member who would help us, and kok soon was just, trying to calm us down i think. i was running off to find a staff when adam shouted again at me, and i turned and ran back to the deck. to see a staff carrying my box into the ship.

i’ll never know what happened in between, or how they managed to convince the staff to bring it into the ship when everything was moving, or how they managed to make there in the first place. adam and kok soon said it was “just like the movies”, the boys generally boasted that they treated it was “mission impossible and accomplished it” (cue MI music haha), but i know, it’s because my God answers prayers and makes impossible missions, possible. (:

sooo. we’ll be in nelson for today, and start our roadtrip tomorrow. it means we have to pick up a day somwhere else, either kaikora or queenstown, but i think it’s alright even if we end on the first because we have a day to spare anyway. we spent today going around nelson running a couple of errands, after lunching at adam’s uncle’s and auntie’s place. i am pretty much in awe at the self-sufficiency of the kiwis, and the way they teach themselves to build houses. i have quite decided, that my future husband’s going to be as willing to be as hands on and learn about cool stuff like building houses even if that happens when he’s 45.

alright, long update. i’ll pretty much end off now. packing after dinner, and then it’s off for the road tomorrow. we’ll be shopping for food, gas (for the cooker) and stuff. i’ve been trying to convince the boys to get travel wash. excitement!

tell me more tell me more (this road that we travel)

so i mixed grease with jars of clay. i think it’s a good fit.

in approx 62 hours, i’ll be off on my month long road trip with adam and kok soon (part1), and my mom and brother (part 2). thought i’d put up an itnery, so it’s kind of like a live update. not really live, but you can ‘live’ (noun) it yourself. as in, make it live as you check each time. you know? aiyah.

SO. beginning with 9th december.

Day1: Ferry to Picton, take nakedbus to Nelson, stay night and prepare for roadtrip.

Day 2: Drive to Blenheim (grassboarding), then to Kaikoura to stay the night.
in Kaikoura- naturenature:) mountains and seas. yay.

Day 3: Kaikoura ♥, then drive to Hammersprings to stay the night.

Day4: Hammersprings: hot springs (with sandflies D:). then drive to Christchurch.
Christchurch. doing stuff. stay a day, then drive to lake Tekapo.

Day 5: spend day in lake Tekapo spend night there.

Day 6: drive to mt Cook(!), spend day there, drive to Oamaru (stay night).

Day 7: In Oamaru: architecture and penguins! yayy. then drive to Dunedin. stay night.

Day 8: In Dunedin: see kok soon’s castle. then drive to Invercargill to stay night.

Day 9: In Invercargill: Have a look around, then to Bluff for the bottom of nz and then to Te Anau. stay night.

Day 10: Ta Anau. stay a day or two (most amazing scenary)
+1

Day 12: Drive to Queenstown. Stay a day or two. adam’s going to bungee jump (nikked!!!)
+1

Day 14: Drive to Wanaka, then onto fox glacier and stay night there.

Day 15: Drive to Hokitika. stay a day or two: see glow worms and pan for gold (wow…) and pick ponamu
rachel loves Hokitika
+1

Day 17: Drive to West Port (stay night)

Day 18: drive to Nelson, stay night. freshen up and stuff.

Day 19: drive to Abel Tasman, explore. Drive to Collingwood. (stay night)

Day 20: Drive to Fearwell Spit and (possibly) Wharganni inlet,
drive back to nellyville/Nelson
+1

Day 22: back to wellington for kok soon (1st dec), while i prepare to drive back to Christchurch to meet mom and brother, for Road Trip 2.

♥

so that’s it m’loves. tomorrow morning i will sit for my final paper (retarded how i end on the last day; it makes everything so rushed. meh.), pack frantically to leave hall straight after, sneak stuff to kok soon’s summer room before nightfall, and have dinner out with the guys and kristen for one. last. time.

there ought to be time to sit down and be mellow about this hall and all that’s been done for the past 4 1/2 months of my life- but ay, i have no time no time and in any case, i think i might already have done enough contemplating during my last couple of weeks. leave while the going’s good, said gina, and so i will. there will be time enough to think when i am back home.

to my praying friends: weather, and safety, and a blessed time please. my prayers go with you too.

till the next time.

i remain,
the rachel who loves you.

a caramel with metal shreds

i think the first step (to?)
comes from a sudden insight of just how depraved-
i/me/you are

sin is like metal shredding in a caramel when
the latter is still molten. it is mouldable and thus has choices.
How does it want to be shaped?
is it going to allow itself to remain pure caramel?

i perceive i have hardened and solidified
with
metal sharpanel streaking over me,
like
veins that extend mutinous hands
and
attracts me to where i would not go

and that is the extent to which i am villified. for as long as i am solid caramel my efforts to change are
useless.
what hope does a piece of caramel have, to remove every metal shard from itself.
nay, none.

i would have to be broken, or renewed.
broken so finely and completely that every last rebellious gleam is exposed, revealed and removed.
or
remelted through searing, painful heat that loses all chemical spiritual bonds, and metal slivers picked up.

and only then, can i count myself truly changed.